Ani DiFranco Rocks!

I downloaded some Ani DiFranco music off Limewire at C's house yesterday. God that woman is amazing! Not only is she unbelievably sexy, she is an extraordinary musician, and extremely intelligent.

She has this one slam poem I downloaded that talks about the two towers and bitches about GWBush and the government. Damn that woman has some political anger. I admire her ability to just say what she wants and not give a shit what anyone thinks.

I am hoping to see her perform, maybe she'll have a concert in Texas sometime soon. She does have a new CD, so perhaps...

*crosses fingers*

Gay Bear


Which Dysfunctional Care Bear Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Damn even a stupid quiz site thinks I am gay. Jeez..

Yard Work and a Senorita

I actually did yard work yesterday. It was one of those things where, you know it needs to be done, but unless you do it, it'll never get done. So I did it. I cleaned out seven flower beds. I hacked away and pulled up probably a billion weeds. Then I beat the soil into soft-ness. The yard looks nice now; I am proud of it. Plus my father said he would lend the cash to buy plants for all the holes where we need plants. Yea for me not having to squeeze out the cash!

I was written up at work today. I was in the cash register area and it was really slow so about 5 other employees were standing around the area chatting. Well this woman and her child were standing behind some Sears people and then this man walks up past the Sears people to check out. Turns out the woman in the back needed help and got ignored on accident. She went to complain at the office and started crying because she felt she was ignored because she is Hispanic. Therefore the 5 other employees and myself got written up for ignoring a customer plus the racial issue was thrown in as well. Come on! Like 70% of the people in my town are Mexican, if I were prejudice against people of Mexican decent I wouldn't be able to get through daily life.

Dirty Parents

My parent's have been home from the cruise for a few days now. They frustrate me. While they were gone I was so relaxed. I didn't have to call home if I went somewhere; I never had to ask for permission. It is not like I went on this rebellious spree during their absence, it was just nice to be completely independent. Also, the house is never as clean with them around. I had the house spotless and shining; I mean you could smell the Windex--I have recently been going crazy with Windex ever since I got back from visiting my friend R who was like the Queen of Windex. Well, when they returned (Sunday) it took until Tuesday for their suitcase and dirty clothes mess to go away--with my help of course. See I don't mind cleaning, I just don't like cleaning other people's mess. I, now 17, was yelled at for about 12 years to pick up my stuff from around the house. I finally have learned. They, ages 47 and 49, have yet to learn their own lesson!

I just don't get it!

A new Cashier

So I work at Sears. Sears isn't a very hip place, in fact I can list the 3 types of people who actually go there on a regular basis"

1. 1st generation Mexican immigrants that don't speak English and only pay in $100's

2. The Omish

3. Bitchy, retired, white women

Now I know it is wrong to categorize people, but this little list is accurate for about 90% of the Sears customers in my town.

The people that work at Sears are interesting as well but for the most part decent, cool people. For a $5.90 an hour job, Sears is not a bad place to work.

HOWEVER,

we have a new cashier as of yesterday. This chick Rob, is one of those disgusting human beings that make you go "Woof!" at the sight of them. The thing is, there is nothing wrong per se about being ugly and greasy, but most people who make you gag at the sight of them have some sort of redeeming personality trait that make them OK to be around. Rob lacks that trait. Not only is she hard to look at, one can't listen to her either. She is ignorant about the world, and acts stupidly in it. I didn't make this judgement just from looking at her after one day. I worked with her for a week when I worked at the YMCA After School Program. That was not a fun week mind you. I am hoping she'll do something stupid and get fired because I don't want to work with her until May. Finding a new job is an option, but finding employment that pays a little over minimum wage in my town, is a bit difficult.

Uhg, if she would just wash her hair and not speak...

Damn Sexuality

I think I am going through a lesbian phase. I am not sure really if it is a phase or if I am actually gay or bisexual. This phase is seriously frustrating and it needs to stop. This is how it started:

All last year I was questioned by people. This is what started my self-sexuality examination. Then this year my best friend C told me he was gay. I don't know, but something about him coming-out brought this inner openness for myself to think about sexuality. I never had allowed myself to really think about it before in terms of myself.

Then the big kicker: I am in school, standing in front of class and I look at this girl, M, and fireworks explode in my body. I couldn't help but smile at the sight of her. Just looking at her caused my heart to beat unbelieveably fast and made my stomach all swirly. She was just so beautiful. I didn't know what to do with these feelings, I had never felt that way even with a guy. When this happened, I seriously started questioning. I began to reflect on feelings I specifically remembered pushing away when I was a kid. Such as when my sister was in a dance team, there was a girl I would stare at. I was about 10 or 11, and she was probably 16...god she was hot.

So now I am allowing myself to be open about homosexual feelings that I could possibly have. Instead of pushing it away, I am embracing. Yet, I still don't quite understand these feelings. Throughout my life, I think I have strived to be different. This isn't a good thing...to want to be unique. So that is why I feel like I am going through a lesbian 'phase.' I know I think women are attractive, but I don't know if I would ever do any sexual acts with a women because I have never been in that situation.

OR...
Maybe I should stop over analyzing myself and just wait this out until college when I'll actually have sexual opportunities. hmm

The L Word & Porn

My week is still going wonderfully except the dread I have of my parents coming home on Sunday. I really wish they would just buy a little villa in Mexico and stay there. I have never been more relaxed---they are gone, the house is clean---it is so peaceful.

Sunday is exciting for one reason however. The season premiere of The L Word is on Sunday and I had my digital cable switched yesterday so my TV now picks up Showtime. The parents don't know I did this, but they will probably figure it out fairly quick when they notice that HBO is gone. : Oh, well, I really don't care if I get in trouble, I just want to see my show. What are they going to do....Yell at me? Who gives a shit?

I am throwing a porn party tonight with a group of friends. I love porn and all things sexual. I swear my dream job is taking the place of Sue Johannson on Talk Sex when she retires. Sadly I am still a virgin, but in theory I am very educated. Anyway, the party will be loads of fun. Everyone is required to bring a suggestive food, while I am providing the main course of hotdogs and tacos. I'll update later on how the party went.

A Cruise & A Million Dollar Baby

My parents are on a cruise and won't get back until Sunday---this is awesome because I get to live in a spotlessly clean house for an entire week. My parents are slobs and, while they don't like living in filth, they are too tired to clean up their own messes, therefore, I, the neat freak, get stuck cleaning.

Yesterday was my first day to be by myself; it was the best Valentine's Day ever! I went to yoga, visited my sister, saw Million Dollar Baby (alone), went to kickboxing, then took care of my miserable friend C while watching the uneventful movie, Slyvia.

Million Dollar Baby: God, it was amazing. I made you want to get up and help Maggie, Hilary Swank's character, kick some bitch ass. I haven't seen the Oscar nominees yet, but I hope Hilary Swank is a contender, however this movie may have come out to late for nomination. It is very much a girl power film. You fall in love with Maggie the moment you meet her and you fight with her throughout the film. However the ending is a big tear jerker. I don't cry easily, and I balled for the last 45 minutes. It is a great movie of female strength, but it doesn't let you down at the end like G.I. Jane , Maggie is a fighter to the end of the film. Hilary Swank also looks really hot in the film, so it has depth and eye candy. ****

I'm Listening To: 20 second snipets of random Ani DiFranco CD's, courtesy of amazon.com. I just saw Ani on Jay Leno the other night, she is definately the most naturally beautiful woman I have ever seen.

So my Dad just got back from putting our dog down. Well that is actually the nice way of phrasing it. In actuality he took him to my grandpa's land and shot him with a pistol. That sounds so 'hickish' but frankly getting the veterinarian to do it is way to expensive. It is sad that the dog, "Pete," is dead now but in his case it is a good thing. The past two weeks he hasn't eaten anything; he has just laid in the garage. He was deaf, blind, and had arthritic paws. It was really a blessing for him to (this reads so brutally) get shot than to starve and be miserable in the garage.

New Psychiatrist

So, I just set this up and I hope it will be fun. I feel like I need a place where I can just talk to ultimate strangers. It's like a free psychiatrist! Seems neat to me.