Worried about C

C is depressed and I am extremely worried about him. He is having the same feelings he did sophomore year of high school, which is: apathetic, pissed off for no reason, and that invisible lonely feeling. We were both severely depressed that year. Him for family reasons, me because a friend had commited suicide the year before around that time---a sort of PTSD. I know exactly how he is feeling and I hate that he feels that way. I love him so much and I don't want him to be upset. It's like part of my heart dies when he is sad. And I feel so unbelievably helpless. I hug him more, try to make him laugh, and ask him how he feels a couple times a day. That's what I wanted when I was depressed so...? What I hate even more is that I know depression is virus and it has to work its way through, nothing can speed it up, it has its own pace. I know that whatever I try, it won't fix his sadness. Also, I hate all the people in his life that are making it harder for him to get through this. MJ specifically makes everything worse. That pissy motherfucker needs to be slapped. I know he has serious issues in his life but must they screw with C's?!

I am leaving to be a camp councelor in two and one-half weeks. I'll be gone for a month and a half. I don't like the idea of not being here to protect him, not being able to hug him when MJ is dick for the 300th time. I am scared he will have suicidal thoughts with me not here to race to his house. I am so scared I am going to get a call at camp with bad news about him. Nothing can happen to him; I can't live with half of my heart gone. I love him so much.