Sigh

I seriously hate knowing that I am probably going to have to wait until college to figure my sexually confused self out. I mean, it is practically all I think about. It makes me wonder, "Does everybody go through this?" It makes me mad at M, because before her all was fine. That day that I looked into her eyes my whole world changed. Like all those years I thought I was straight were erased and replaced with not stop thoughts of women. Men don't really attract me anymore, there's the occasional one, but mostly I just stare at girls now. Yet, I have these days where I think, "God, I am such a les," and other days where I am not so sure.

There's a quote from The L Word where Shane says, "Most girls are straight until they're not." Is that true? I ponder that quote a lot because that is my exact situation. If I had never seen M, would I still be positively straight, or would it have just taken another girl at another time to...I don't know...arouse my homosexuality?

I don't care which way I end up, I just wish I knew.